The Story of Emily - part 1

Several weeks ago I heard a song that spoke deeply to my heart - it summed up the entire story of our sweet Emily in a way that I could never put into words. Just a few days ago, on a rough day, Anna said, "Mommy sing that song that it's in your radio - it always makes you feel happy."
It is my favorite song of our Christmas cantata, and maybe my new favorite song:

Faith Will Take you Farther
Sometimes faith will lead you to trust a promise that's illogical
Somtimes faith will lead you to cling to hopes that seem impossible
So often faith looks foolish, a leap into the dark
but that's not how it is for the believing heart

And when all your dreams have fallen through, and your plans come crashing in on you
Don't lose hope, no matter how it seems
Cause faith will hold you closer
Faith will keep you safer
Faith will take you farther than you dream

Doubt will always whisper there's no one there to catch you when you fall
Fear will come to rob you of  any chance to see a miracle
So trust the One who made you, Who's word won't let you down
Cause trusting in His grace is where your strength is found

And when all your dreams have fallen through, and your plans come crashing in on you
Don't lose hope, no matter how it seems
Cause faith will hold you closer
Faith will keep you safer
Faith will take you farther than you dream . . .
 Father than you dream
This sums up the story of Emily - it was a complete act of faith that we stepped out to follow God's leading to adopt - He knew our precious baby girl was waiting for us :) as the song says, faith will lead you to the illogical - nothing seemed right about our timing to start the adoption journey, but we knew we had to. There was an urgency in my heart to get that paperwork in that I simply cannot explain.

Our dreams had come crashing down when we our second & third pregnancies ended tragically. My heart broke in an unexplainable way with the third preganancy. I fell into the darkness of depression that seemed to consume me. No, they couldn't tell me why I lost my babies.

Our life plans fell through when Gabe went over a year without a job, and we could just never get ahead financially.
It was completely illogical for us to take such a drastic step of faith and even apply for adoption.

But we did. On January 15th, we met with Heart to Home Adoption Agency in our home, and signed the premilinary papers to begin our adoption process. When I first started our paperwork, the thought crossed my mind, "we could have a new baby by Easter!" It was a fleeting thought, and unrealistic, I knew, but I tucked that dream away. It vanished with each expensive piece of paperwork we had to have. We hit a point that when I emailed our agency to say that we needed to slow down our process.We just couldn't balance the added finance of the paperwork. She was wonderful. She told us to take our time - there was no rush - it was a big process - our baby would be there when the time was right.

I still have the post it note pinned to my bulletin board where my dear instructional assistant wrote "call Gabe" on March 23rd. When my cellphone rang in the faculty meeting after school, and I saw it was from the adoption agency, my heart skipped a beat, but i convinced myself it was just regarding some paperwork. I stepped out to take the call. I'll never forget the words, "we have a baby girl, she's yours if you want her." I walked back into the faculty meeting, texted my friend across the room of what had happened, and tried to hold it together. At the end of the meeting I told my CRS family that I was leaving in the morning to pick up my baby girl. The cheers, tears, and prayers were acts of love I'll never forget.
When that unexpected phone call came that there was a baby that needed parents - we couldn't say no.When we agreed to make the trip to meet our prospective new daugther, we had 2 dollars in change in the cup holder of our van, there was no prospect of a job for Gabe, and we were struggling financially - to bring another child into our home was more than illogical, but in our heart of hearts we knew this was what God wanted for us. On our 3 hour ride to Elizabethtown, we went back and forth about the pros and cons of doing this - we couldn't afford it, our house wasn't big enough, our families would be beyond shocked and concerned simply because of where our lives had taken us up to that point, we could make this trip and it not work out, but the deciding factor - we knew God was leading, He showed that from the minute the phone call came, when folks came from everywhere with money, gifts, and prayer. We even discussed on our trip naming our amazing miracle "Faith" for there was no other way to explain the craziness of what we were doing.

God has humbled us to accept gifts from others. He has poured out unbelievable blessings from this act of faith - every penny was provided exactly when we needed it. Emily was 3 months old before we ever bought our first box of diapers - simply from God's blessings through the love and generosity of others. You can't tell me that's not a blessing from an act of faith - faith so extreme that the only explaination is that is  God-given.

I got my Easter baby. Following God's leading and taking a gigantic step of faith did lead us farther than we could have ever dared to dream.